Dancing.

I don't know how old I was when I first heard the amazing Darlene Love sing her little Christmas ditty, I just know I have loved it as far back as I can remember.

I DO remember the first time I heard U2's version.  It was on the first Very Special Christmas album.  The red one.  The one with the Keith Haring artwork on the cover.  The one with Madonna singing Santa Baby and Whitney's killer version of Do You Hear What I Hear...  Anyway, I had borrowed the cassette from my friend Tom when we were in high school.  I loved that tape so much and to this day, I'm not sure if I returned it.

I don't have a lot of Christmas songs that I love - I find most of them a little too shmaltzy, and if you know me at all, you know that's not my thing.  But there are a few that I can listen to over and over again: Fairytale of New York...Do They Know it's Christmas...Father Christmas and of course, the above mentioned, (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home.

I was a teenager when I saw Ms. Love perform it on David Letterman (he's gone on record saying it's the only Christmas song he likes) and it became my favorite Letterman moment each time she was on.  She would be the musical guest on his last show of the year and sing this and each year the performance became more and more elaborate. She started this in 1986 and did it every year until his final year behind the desk in 2014. (And, yes, of course I knew that fact.)

About 30 minutes ago, a video was released of Darlene with Dave and Paul sitting together this week, talking about their time together and it ended with Darlene belting out her song.  I'm sitting here with tears as I watch it during my lunch.

The U2 version is probably my favorite cover versions of a song.  They do such a good job (because, of course they do) and the video of them singing it looks like they are having the best time.  In fact, as I learned yesterday, as a band, they have only performed it live twice (1987 and this past week at the Sphere).  Hearing that opening guitar strum just makes me smile.

The first Christmas we were together (about two months or so of dating), like most couples in the NYC area, we trekked into The City to see all the Christmas glitz and glamour.  Our first stop was Bryant Park.  We saw the tree there, walked around the little village of shops that popped up looking at tacky crap and cute crap, and eating delicious food as we walked.  Sean was ALL ABOUT stopping at Max Brenner to get some cocoa and we shared a small cup of, what is basically, melted chocolate.  He also got a marshmallow in it.  One.  Those suckers are HUGE.  He, in a attempt to impress me I suppose, managed to get the melted mass of stickiness trapped in his beard.  He then tried to clean it with a paper napkin - which just added to the mess.  I teased him about that whenever marshmallows were mentioned or seen for the next 7 years - and of course - every December when we made our trip into The City.

After Bryant Park we walked up to The Tree - the one at Rockefeller Center and visited all the windows. We bought an ornament at one of the kiosks, and I also bought a fake Chanel bag on the street and managed to haggle the guy down to $30 (I carried that bag the night we got engaged).

Walking along the streets, the Christmas music was playing and it was impossible to not get all caught up in the atmosphere and cheeriness.  We stopped for dinner and eventually made our way back to Penn Station to catch the train home.

While waiting for our train in the excessively warm train station, you could hear the Christmas music playing, interrupted every so often by the announcements of the train arrivals.  

And then we hear Darlene Love start singing.

I had mentioned to him once or twice that this was one of the few Christmas songs I loved.  I must have smiled or something when I heard it start, but didn't say anything; we just continued to wait for our train.  Then, out of nowhere, Sean took my hand and pulled me close and proceeded to dance with me, complete with a dip, in the middle of the NJ Transit waiting area as if no one else was there.  And in that moment, there was no one else there.  There was just us two.

That's when I knew I would spend my life with this man.  

Even before the "I love yous" were said, I knew.

From that point on, whenever that song came on and we were together, he would pull me in for a dance - didn't matter if it was the middle of a grocery store (which it was, once) or our kitchen.  The last time I heard it with him was our last visit to Key West.  We were walking down Greene Street on our way back from dinner and it was playing in a bar as we passed.  And in true Sean fashion, he grabbed my waist and twirled me around a few times, much to my delight and the other people wandering the streets.

I have a Christmas playlist for school and I have been playing it while the kids work because even though I may be not loving the merriness this year, they do, and I'm not a total Scrooge. After a week or two, I can hear them humming along or singing with some of the songs.  Yesterday, the Darlene Love version played followed by U2.

Talk about a kick in the head.

I listened, and there may have been a few tears when I heard the lines:

       "They're singing "Deck The Halls"

        But it's not like Christmas at all

        'Cause I remember when you were here

        And all the fun we had last year

 

        Pretty lights on the tree

        I'm watching them shine

        You should be here with me

        Baby please come home."

It never really resonated with me just how sad this song is - Darlene and Bono really put such a fun spin on it, that the sadness seems to disappear. But it is sad.  And real.  And appropriate.

You should be here with me...

Maybe I should just stick to Dominick the Donkey on repeat.

But, then again,  you can't dance to that one.