Homework.

Sean didn't have a will.  

In all fairness, the will that I have was written 15 years ago when I owned a home and my friend Jen was a mother of 1 and not 3. And neither Sean nor I ever thought that we would need one so soon.  But, here we are.

In NJ, if you die without a will, the surviving spouse (a term I hate almost as much as "widow") needs to file papers with the surrogate court of the county they live in so they can become the administrator of their spouse's estate.  So, that's what I did.  It's not a lot of work, but it takes a while.  I was told that the court was approximately 2 months behind.  A few weeks ago, I received some documents that had to be notarized and returned in order to complete the process. 

On Saturday I received a letter from a realtor telling me that when I am ready to sell my home, they are more than happy to help.

Monday I received another from a different realtor.

And today I had 9 phone calls from 9 different numbers (I'm assuming) requesting the same.

NINE.

(I feel like Ed Rooney from Ferris Bueller when I say that...)

I understand we live in a world where people need to hustle to survive.  And I have no issue with that.  I have no problems with realtors, either.  In fact, one of my favorite people is one and he's great at what he does (and if you live in NJ and are looking for a great one, I can give you his name).

What I do have an issue with, is how the many that chose me to solicit, are going about doing this.

You (and this is aimed at the soulless ones who have called and sent letters) might want to tread lightly with us W people.  We are a sensitive bunch, slightly unstable at the moment, and incredibly fractured.  There is no telling how we might react (for reference, please see the Trader Joe's behavior from a few posts ago).

Here's a tip: maybe start with a condolence.  Perhaps a generic "we here at Asshat Estates are sorry for your loss", and then launch into your sales pitch.

Instead, one of my letters began "Greetings and Happy Holidays!"

Really? "Happy Holidays"? Do they honestly think I'm over here rocking around the Christmas tree?

And a fucking exclamation point?

Here's another tip:

Do.

Your.

Fucking.

Homework.

(I need to give credit to my sister for that one.)

Sean (and that's how it's spelled, by the way - not Shaun like in one of the letters - because that's in the top left corner, in case you were wondering - my address, a slash, and then his name. Spelled wrong.) and I are NOT the homeowners.  We rent.  The only thing we own, aside from our cars, our furniture and Lexi, is a slamming collection of handbags and shoes. (Full disclosure - the shoe collection was his.)

If you are trolling legal documents for the recently deceased in NJ, you may also want to dig a little further and find out some property information.

Also, leave us alone.  We aren't in the state of mind to make any major decisions right now (my online Black Friday and Cyber Monday purchases can attest to that) and if we DO need to make a major decision about our home, we can do our own research. 

Don't prey on the weak.

We may surprise you.

And if you call again, I really hope you listen to my voicemail outgoing message.

Best wishes.

Warmest regards.